Good News, Everyone!

After two months of feeling empty and being terrified I might have some awful illness, I actually feel like and desire to work on my comics! This is a wonderful feeling!

Granted it hit me while I was at work, but still...

I had been pecking away at an image of Tlaloc for a couple of days, nothing serious, but I was at work and suddenly I NEEDED to art. Unfortunately, they don't want me drawing there so I had to sneak a tiny piss-poor sketch (that I threw out anyway) while trying to stay out of sight. Now I am home, updating this, checking my email and dashing back downstairs to do more drawing.

Nothing breathtaking is going to come from this, but it's something. And I love it. I feel like the switch has suddenly come back on.

HERE IS THE IMPORTANT PART:

I was telling someone that if I ever felt like drawing again that I would do a buffer of GF so I could do some updates and they asked a very, very important question: Why?

Seriously, why AM I killing myself and forcing myself into slumps of failure just to update a page that's half done or half assed?

So from now on, GF is a randomly updated comic. It works for Maggot Boy, Zebra Girl and Mokepon, it can work for GO FISH.

This, hopefully, will assure completed pages that are 100% to my approval, sans shame.

It feels really great to be in love again. Thanks for sticking with me, guys, I hope to not disappoint you!

Thursday December 3rd, 2009

I was hoping to get back into my work before the end of the year. This is becoming annoying. I tried to explain it to my dad, who seemed to understand, and fell into tears. It's heartbreaking coming to terms with this...dysfunction? that I have. I am making it a point to make an appointment with a doctor next week. It's a busy time of year, but I want to come back. I miss you guys and your comments on my facebook make me weepy.

I'm also back online, if you hadn't noticed.

Thanks for your support and patience, once again. It seems pointless to hold a contest now, but I would love you give you all prizes and free stuff to show my appreciation.

November 26th, 2009 Thanksgiving.

Hey all. No I'm not ready yet.

But I am going to be out of internet for a while. The internet in this state is laughable when it comes to hooking it up and keeping it. Also, I'll need to get Verizon off my computer and who knows if that's implanted some "you can't have any other ISP! BWAHAHAHAAA" software or not.

It could be one day (which means all these updates are stupid and pointless) or a month (which means there will be a newspaper article about me).

Anyway, things haven't changed. I'm still burned out or whatever. I haven't gone to see anyone though I want to. I want to do a lot of things.

November 2009

I guess the reason I haven't been updating is that I just don't feel it anymore. This isn't my ever-other-week emptiness (thanks for pointing that out, Doodles), no, this is something much more hollow and cold. I think about my art very rarely nowadays. I pick up a sketch pad and put it down after two minutes.

But I'm not unhappy. I'm not depressed or moody or PMSing; there's just NOTHING INSIDE OF ME. It's like every bit of art NEVER HAPPENED.


GF's future has two options: 1) I somehow get an artgasm and get back into loving my work and desiring to do it and finding some meaning in this shell of an existence or 2) my heart and mind finally accept that my art has and never will get me beyond a grade school dream and I become another faceless cog in the world with sixteen years of failure on my back. In that case, at least I've got plenty to burn, right?

Yes, that means BLOOD is on hold and even my not-even-started Secret Wars project on deviantART are all meaningless piles of paper and fail taking up my bedroom closet and floor.

Hell, best case scenerio is I give my brain a break from this guilt I have to update, my stress goes away, my jaw clenching ceases and I can sleep more fully. Maybe if I stop worrying about it, I can actually do it. But that's best case.

Let it play out.

Tuesday November 10th, 2009

AAAAAGH!!

Running late, comic's not done, need to go to work. I'll finish it later. Sorry.

Today's Comic: Baxter is talking about this page, with similar thoughts. (oh god old art is OLLLLLD)

NOTICE

I actually wasn't expecting this, but there won't be an update on Friday. I'm going home for a couple days to get my car reinforced for the winter and see the family. It didn't occur to me until just now that the next page isn't even half done and I wouldn't have today to work on it. My apologies.

Use the LINKS section to find a comic that IS updating Friday and I'll see you back here Tuesday.

Tuesday November 3rd, 2009

The page will be up soon. My ticket in the CG queue was like...2900 or something.

Let me know what you think of the shading style. If you like it, I'll continue it. If not, I'll got back to what I was doing before.

(Life stuff: I'm moving! Finally!)

Today's page: Zero = the amount of crap Hina Ika takes.